I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize