dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
