I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
