They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
