so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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