So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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