i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
