Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
