I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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