Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
