The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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