he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
