And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
