Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
