So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
