No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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