who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
PANTIES FOUND
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