ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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