I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
