Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
