and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
