is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
