Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
