dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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