and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
MIDGETS
????
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
