I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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