Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
