You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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