remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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