we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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