You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
