Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
