OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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