therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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