Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
