i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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