the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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