oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my being single is dangerous.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
