i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
