Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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