He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
