found the other keg... it's in the tree
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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