I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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