how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
