Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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