I heard we made out
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
