the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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