PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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