I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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