Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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