he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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