the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
