Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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