I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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