just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
