Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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