My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
