How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
