I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
